Jabba the AccountHutt

Some of you may have gleaned from the odd comment in my blog that whilst I don't mind my job, I really, really hate my boss. And don't worry - all will be revealed. Once I leave.

But I cannot refrain from taking a moment to slag off a different annoyance in my life - namely, the miserable old dotard that has taken up nesting in our accounts office, and who hides behind his spreadsheets while managing to be the most difficult and irritating person I've ever met.

For those of you unaware, Accounting is all about money. Money comes in, Money goes out. Cashflow. Expenditure. Whatever you want to call it. Now, our accountant, by the name of Maurice, to his credit, has the incomings down pat. Believe me, if money comes into this office, it gets allocated to a person's policy as soon as possible. All well and good.

However, when it's time to give money back to a client, then we have problems. You see, our accountant friend. as well as my boss are both greedy pricks at the best of times, and for reasons that I cannot begin to comprehend, think it's better to hold onto a person's money for a month or two (or more) longer than they need to before giving it back. Make no mistake, we have to give this money back, and we always do. But rather than return it immediately, our boss, and our accountant, hold onto it in their grasping, greasy, wrong-side-of-50 hands.

Take today. This morning in fact. About a week ago we declined to insure a guy who was massively overweight. No surprises there. But he'd already paid online when he applied. So it's a simple matter of returning his money, right? Wrong. I gave this to Account Fuck five days ago, and he still hasn't done it. Two minutes of work and he hadn't been bothered. Meanwhile we're copping grief from clients - which, I might add, he never has talk to. Our boss doesn't want him talking to clients, since his customer service skills are completely non-existent. So I have to tell these poor bastards that their money is going to come back "shortly" and then go in and verbally joust with Jabba the AccountHutt in the other room.

He doesn't pay commission to brokers, he doesn't pay the reinsurer on time, he doesn't refund money - for the life of me, I can't understand why we have this overweight leech clinging to this company. Oh, that's right, I remember now. Because he's the only one dishonest enough to cover up the fact that my boss is a lying fraud, a cheat and a criminal.

Two and a half fucking weeks to go, and it cannot come soon enough.