Throbbin' Hood, Prince of Beaves

Y'see, when I got back from Nottingham the other weekend, in a fit of Robin Hood inspiredness, I tried to download a bittorrent of the Kevin Costner film, Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, which, to be honest, I always thought made quite a good film. However, I was unable to locate a copy online - evidently more people than I thought saw the Postman, and deemed that no film featuring Costner should ever be shown to the public again, for fear of contamination.

I did however find multiple listings of a porno by the abovementioned title. While I should point out that I did not download said movie, I do wonder what brilliant inspiration drove the creator of the movie to that title. Think on that for a moment, if you will.

Anyways, moving right along.

Last weekend, Karl, Nick and myself all piled into Dan's Vauxhall Corsa, and made our north on the M11 to the relative peace and quiet of Nottingham, in search of beer. More to the point, to a pub known as the Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem, that dates back to 1189 AD, and is the oldest pub in all of England. It also serves it's own beer, called Ye Olde Trip, that is widely regarded as one of the finest ales in all the land. So, we had to sample it. Mind you, it took us about 6 or 7 pints before we concurred that yes, it was excellent stuff, and that it was well worth the trip up.

As for the pub itself - well, I'll show some photos first, and then explain it.


A good shot of the side. The cliff behind it is actually the rock on which stands Nottingham Castle, which I'll show in a little while. The majority of the pub is actually built into the rock, as, due to it's age, the original builders made use of the numerous caves and grottos underneath the castle, to avoid having to construct buildings.

If you stripped away the exterior of the building, you'd find a great deal of rock in underneath the exterior brick.


View from the front.


This is one of the rooms inside, up on the third floor. The walls are rock, although they have been smoothed over with concreete obviously, in order to make it properly safe. Above here is an enormous chimney that stretches up about 15 metres through the rock, and emerges at the top of the rock. To guard against inclement weather though, they seal it up with a cover.

It really was astonishing. One of the most amazing places I've ever been to, and well worth the trip alone to Nottingham, even if you have no other reason to go here.

After "TIIIIIIME GENTLEMEN PLEASE" was called at 12, we then proceeded to wander into town, in search of a pub that was showing the cricket. Now, one thing you very soon realise about the Poms. They do not know how to conduct themselves on a night out.

I don't know whether it was every girl we saw wearing a miniskirt (not that we complained), guys starting fights in the streets, people puking everywhere and girls squatting down behind dumpsters - maybe a combination of all three. But it's a bit of an eye opener. At least a night out in Brisbane has a little more decorum to it. Or maybe we just hold our booze better. I'm thinking it's the latter.

Anyways, after an hour or so of wandering about, a few more drinks, a dodgy kebab, we stumbled upon an all night sports bar, and stepped in. At about 4 am, with Dan fast falling asleep, we decided to call it, and headed back to the Travelodge.

The next day, feeling pretty decent, all things considered, and fortified by breakfast, we went for a quick wander through Nottingham to check out some of the sights by daylight.


Standard thatched roof ye olde medieval type house. I think this one dates from the mid-1500's, but could be wrong. The geezer standing down near the door is Nick.


The gatehouse to Nottingham Castle. The location of the castle is perfect, and not entirely dissimilar to that of Edinburgh Castle. A large rock, looming up above most of the town. Nottingham is quite a hilly place though, so the castle doesn't stand out as much as the one at Edinburgh.


Part of the outer wall, to the left of the previous photo. The Ye Olde Trip to Jerusalem is down the path to the far left, and then you turn right at the end of the wall.


Nottingham Castle itself. Obviously this wasn't the original Norman castle - I assume it was destroyed at some point by Kevin Costner. Nonetheless, the building itself is a very grand structure, although not exactly designed with warfare in mind. Unlike Edinburgh Castle, which absolutely bristles with cannons.


And finally, part of Nottingham skyline, taken from the roof of the multi-story carpark where we left the Corsa overnight.

The trip back was uneventful, save for a traffic jam that only the M1 can deliver. The British do not know how to build a highway. Dan in particular, being Canadian, and familiar with the excellent highways of North America, was particularly critical, and frankly, I have to agree. The Brits make excellent history, pubs and beer - but make it very, very difficult to travel to see them.

But despite all that, it was an excellent weekend all round.